Fast Forward

New York City

My life is in fast forward not too fast but fast none the less. I was going to talk about my elusive relationship with the man that I love, but decided it against it. I will write about that another time. Instead what I want to share is that again I failed the exam by one point. I might have shared that already but don’t want to scroll through my blog to check, so sorry if I am repeating myself. Anyway I could not believe it when I pressed the completed exam key and found out that I failed once again. I have an excuses for failing this time; I told a lot of people that I was taking the exam and by doing so all I did was put more pressure on myself to pass. Then I took the exam at 4:00 p.m. and that is really not when I am at my best. I am a morning person and do my best work in the a.m. However, I am going to give it another try and hopefully this time I will get through and pass it. In the mean time, I got a call on Thursday May 19th that involved a job offer . I was shocked because after I interviewed for the position I thought that the interview went well, but that nothing would come of it because they were interviewing other people that perhaps had their license in social work. Anyway to make a long story short I got the social worker position serving people with substance abuse issues and HIV/AIDS  and expect to start June 6th 2011. I am happy and decided to take the exam again before my start date.  I am wondering though what to do if I pass the exam. I wonder if I should stay at this job for a bit or start looking for job that will pay more.  Anyway I am rambling so I will stop writing for today. All I wanted to do was update my status and confirm that life is moving fast forward.

                                                                                      ~o~0~0~

 ” Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer” Dennis Waitley

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Happy!

Happy! today because I took the practice exam by the association of social workers and passed it. This makes me happy for many reasons. One reason is by passing the exam it offers me obvious hope that I will pass the actual exam. I am taking it on February 28th. I want to get it over with and move on with my life that will surely will get better if I pass the exam. That is all I have to say today. Happy is the feeling I will relish today.

I am Afraid

I am afraid because I finally took the licensing exam for social work, but failed it by 9 points. I am disappointed in myself. I can’t believe I failed by little points. Now I find myself in the position to study all over again and waiting until I am licensed before I can get a job. No one will hire me with out the license. I am really scared about that because my unemployment is running out and because I can’t finance the test. I hear that I can get an extension on the unemployment benefits, but I am not sure about that. I will look into it in the hopes that I qualify for one. Today everything that is happening in my life is hitting me like a ton of bricks. I also still pine for my ex lover and he does not help the situation by contacting me and eluding that he wants to spend some time with me. I am nervous that I will give in and see him. He is still with his 29 year old girlfriend who obviously is not making him happy. I know what to do and that is stay away from him, but another part of me wants to go see him, so I can forget some of my problems for a little while. I consider his home my sanctuary and I miss the escaping there. Anyway I hope I get passed all of this. Meanwhile I will listen to music  : (

 

Tupac Shakur

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Rapper, actor. Born on June 16, 1971, in New York, New York. Shakur has become a legend in hip-hop and rap circles for his talent, his violent behavior, and his brutal death. The son of a Black Panther activist, Shakur moved around a lot as a child. In his youth, he explored acting by becoming a member of the 127th Street Ensemble, a Harlem-based theater company.

As a teenager, Shakur attended the Baltimore School for the Arts, where he took acting and dance classes, including ballet. While living in Baltimore, he discovered rap and began performing as MC New York. In the late 1980s, Shakur and his family moved to the West Coast. He joined the Oakland, California-based hip-hop group Digital Underground, which earlier had scored a hit with the song “The Humpty Dance.”

In 1991, Shakur emerged as a solo artist — using the name 2Pac — with his debut album 2Pacalypse Now. The track “Brenda’s Got a Baby” reached as high as number three on the Billboard Hot Rap Singles chart. His second albumStrictly 4 My N. I. G. G. A. Z. crossed over to the pop charts, with singles “I Get Around” and “Keep Ya Head Up.” The album went platinum, selling more than a million copies. Around this time, Shakur also appeared in several films, including Poetic Justice (1993) opposite Janet Jackson.

2Pac became quite a sensation, earning praise for his musical and acting talent as well as condemnation for his explicit, violent lyrics. Many of his songs told of fights, gangs, and sex. He appeared to be living up to his aggressive gangster rap persona with several arrests for violent offenses in the 1990s. In 1994, he spent several days in jail for assaulting director Allen Hughes and was later convicted of sexual assault in another case. Shakur himself fell victim to violence, getting shot five times in the lobby of a recording studio during a mugging.

The next year, after recovering from his injuries, Shakur was sentenced to four and a half years in prison in the sexual assault case. His third solo album, Me Against the World (1995), started out in the number one spot on the album charts. Many critics praised the work, noting that tracks like “Dear Mama” showed a more genuine, reflective side to the rapper. The possibility of an early death runs through several songs on this recordings — something that many have seen as a chilling moment of foretelling.

After serving eight months in prison, Shakur returned to music with the album All Eyez on Me (1996). He was reportedly released after Death Row Records CEO Marion “Suge” Knight paid a bond of more than $1 million as part of Shakur’s parole. In his latest project, Shakur as the defiant street thug was back in full force on this recording. The song “California Love” featured a guest appearance by famed rapper-producer Dr. Dre and made a strong showing on the pop charts. “How Do You Want It” also was another smash success for Shakur. It appeared to be a golden time for Shakur. Besides his hit album, he tackled several film roles.

During his career, Shakur had become embroiled in a feud between East Coast and West Coast rappers. He was known to insult his enemies on his tracks. On a trip to Las Vegas to attend a boxing match, Shakur was shot while riding in a car driven by Knight on September 7, 1996. He died six days later on September 13 from his injuries. His killer has never been caught. Since his death, numerous albums of his work have been released, selling millions of copies.

The misunderstood man http://onwaxmagazine.com/owm/?p=7641 Via On Wax Magazine

The 44th President

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EARLY YEARS

Barack Obama was born in Hawaii on August 4th, 1961. His father, Barack Obama Sr., was born and raised in a small village in Kenya, where he grew up herding goats with his own father, who was a domestic servant to the British.

Barack’s mother, Ann Dunham, grew up in small-town Kansas. Her father worked on oil rigs during the Depression, and then signed up for World War II after Pearl Harbor, where he marched across Europe in Patton’s army. Her mother went to work on a bomber assembly line, and after the war, they studied on the G.I. Bill, bought a house through the Federal Housing Program, and moved west to Hawaii.

It was there, at the University of Hawaii, where Barack’s parents met. His mother was a student there, and his father had won a scholarship that allowed him to leave Kenya and pursue his dreams in America.

Barack’s father eventually returned to Kenya, and Barack grew up with his mother in Hawaii, and for a few years in Indonesia. Later, he moved to New York, where he graduated from Columbia University in 1983.

THE COLLEGE YEARS

Remembering the values of empathy and service that his mother taught him, Barack put law school and corporate life on hold after college and moved to Chicago in 1985, where he became a community organizer with a church-based group seeking to improve living conditions in poor neighborhoods plagued with crime and high unemployment.

The group had some success, but Barack had come to realize that in order to truly improve the lives of people in that community and other communities, it would take not just a change at the local level, but a change in our laws and in our politics.

He went on to earn his law degree from Harvard in 1991, where he became the first African-American president of the Harvard Law Review. Soon after, he returned to Chicago to practice as a civil rights lawyer and teach constitutional law. Finally, his advocacy work led him to run for the Illinois State Senate, where he served for eight years. In 2004, he became the third African American since Reconstruction to be elected to the U.S. Senate.

POLITICAL CAREER

It has been the rich and varied experiences of Barack Obama’s life – growing up in different places with people who had differing ideas – that have animated his political journey. Amid the partisanship and bickering of today’s public debate, he still believes in the ability to unite people around a politics of purpose – a politics that puts solving the challenges of everyday Americans ahead of partisan calculation and political gain.

In the Illinois State Senate, this meant working with both Democrats and Republicans to help working families get ahead by creating programs like the state Earned Income Tax Credit, which in three years provided over $100 million in tax cuts to families across the state. He also pushed through an expansion of early childhood education, and after a number of inmates on death row were found innocent, Senator Obama worked with law enforcement officials to require the videotaping of interrogations and confessions in all capital cases.

In the U.S. Senate, he has focused on tackling the challenges of a globalized, 21st century world with fresh thinking and a politics that no longer settles for the lowest common denominator. His first law was passed with Republican Tom Coburn, a measure to rebuild trust in government by allowing every American to go online and see how and where every dime of their tax dollars is spent. He has also been the lead voice in championing ethics reform that would root out Jack Abramoff-style corruption in Congress.

As a member of the Veterans’ Affairs Committee, Senator Obama has fought to help Illinois veterans get the disability pay they were promised, while working to prepare the VA for the return of the thousands of veterans who will need care after Iraq and Afghanistan. Recognizing the terrorist threat posed by weapons of mass destruction, he traveled to Russia with Republican Dick Lugar to begin a new generation of non-proliferation efforts designed to find and secure deadly weapons around the world. And knowing the threat we face to our economy and our security from America’s addiction to oil, he’s working to bring auto companies, unions, farmers, businesses and politicians of both parties together to promote the greater use of alternative fuels and higher fuel standards in our cars.

Whether it’s the poverty exposed by Katrina, the genocide in Darfur, or the role of faith in our politics, Barack Obama continues to speak out on the issues that will define America in the 21st century. But above all his accomplishments and experiences, he is most proud and grateful for his family. His wife, Michelle, and his two daughters, Malia, 9, and Sasha, 6, live on Chicago’s South Side.

I Wanted to Believe

His subway stop to his home

I wanted to believe that he at least cared. We been seeing each other for over five years now. Now he has decided to extricate himself from me. I can’t believe that it is happening because I did not see it coming. I know he started saying that he met someone that has captured his attention. At first I thought that it was not a big deal because she is not even close to our age. She is much younger. I thought that may be he would forget it, but he  has not on the contrary he has decided to court her. Now I am in disbelief and find myself unable to accept it. I cry constantly and feel helpless. I know at first we had a cordial conversations about it. I allowed that because I thought nothing of it. What has  happened now is that this is a reality and because of it I have become insanely jealous and can’t even stand the thought of a woman that I have never met. She seems to have captured his heart in little time something that I have been unable to do with years of time. I feel so rejected and have tried to have a conversation with him about it, but he won’t allow it. He keeps telling me that he does not want to talk now and hangs up the phone. I feel now as if we never spent time together and that I never made an impact in his  life. I know from our past quarrels that he could be insensitive and often does not comprehend why I get angry and feel misunderstood. What confirms that was yesterday when we argued and shouted until late evening as a result of all the quarreling the last time we spoke  he said in a tone that I have never heard before to stop calling him. That tone in his voice is still in my head and I could still hear it today. The tone in his voice sounded to me like hate and disdain towards me. I finally once I heard him that way it made me realize that he does not care for me, but in spite of it all, incredibly I started today in a more peaceful mode because I know I must move on finally and let him go. I know this because I  have tried with all my might to get him to hear me and see that I love him, but he  has decided that he won’t accept my cries. That only proves to me the obvious and that is that he does not care as a result, today I will try to put it all behind me and like I said before I will move on with my life.   All I have ever wanted to believe is that he cares.

My Niece

I love this little girl so much. I have not seen her in a few months because of a misunderstanding with her Mother. Now I suffer for it because only get see her in pictures. I miss her and dislike the fact that I am missing important moments in her life; like her birthday. I did not think the argument reaction would last this long. I apologized the same day of the argument, but my sister in law did not acknowledge or accept the apology. Now I have to endure the pain of missing my niece.