Nervous

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As I smoke my daily dose of cigarettes I wonder where will I be in a couple of months. Currently working as a therapist. My boss said I am not keeping up with the numbers. You see it’s all about productivity and not the quality of the therapy. I trying to keep up with the numbers, but I forget and just focus on therapy. I am starting not to feel comfortable at work. I need the occasional pat on the shoulder and it’ does not look like it’s coming anytime soon. I’ve started to apply for other jobs, yet I keep decorating my office like I am staying for the remainder. My point is that I feel almost terrified about what could happen in the next few months like getting fired once again. I am scared about that, but then again I welcome it because I am starting to become unhappy where I work because it’s all about the the numbers.