Lately I’ve been feeling lonely. I don’t have much to say except that things have changed somewhat. I feel a little more secure, but the feeling of loneliness consumes me. I try to quell it with the spirits but it does not help. I try to stay occupied by hanging out with friends or playing with the computer, but nothing is helping. In the mean time I will just have to try and ignore the feeling and surely it should pass.


A Bit

Ruth Orkin 1951

Things have changed a bit. I am now working as a case manager for a cancer care organization. I am over qualified for the position, but I took the job because I am running out of unemployment and could not find another job under my profession; social work due to my licensing issues. I feel like a total looser. I can’t believe this is happening to me; did not pass the license exam. I plan to rectify that in January 2011. I hope that I pass it then. If I do pass a lot of doors will open for me career wise and I am looking forward to that. As for being a looser I continue to be one by not studying yet. I plan it, but don’t do it. It’s amazing to me how I could be so careless knowing that my lively hood depends on passing this important exam. I can’t figure out why I am doing this. I know that I must study, but I have not started to get serious about it. I will. I hope. As for my love life it’s the same. The man that I love is still with the 29 year old woman. Until the other day he and I were arguing about still contacting him. He does it first I follow up and he gets angry. He is a mess that way. Now we are in speaking terms again until the next fight. For now I am not dating and don’t intend to. Although, I feel incredibly horny I don’t want to date because I am simply not in the mood to let another man in my life. I feel that way because I still have not gotten over my past relationship and feel very wary about ever having another one. ¬†Anyway for now I plan to think about doing the right things regarding my career and my love life and hopefully soon I will take the actions that I need to take.