I am Afraid

I am afraid because I finally took the licensing exam for social work, but failed it by 9 points. I am disappointed in myself. I can’t believe I failed by little points. Now I find myself in the position to study all over again and waiting until I am licensed before I can get a job. No one will hire me with out the license. I am really scared about that because my unemployment is running out and because I can’t finance the test. I hear that I can get an extension on the unemployment benefits, but I am not sure about that. I will look into it in the hopes that I qualify for one. Today everything that is happening in my life is hitting me like a ton of bricks. I also still pine for my ex lover and he does not help the situation by contacting me and eluding that he wants to spend some time with me. I am nervous that I will give in and see him. He is still with his 29 year old girlfriend who obviously is not making him happy. I know what to do and that is stay away from him, but another part of me wants to go see him, so I can forget some of my problems for a little while. I consider his home my sanctuary and I miss the escaping there. Anyway I hope I get passed all of this. Meanwhile I will listen to music  : (